project 365: day oo9, o1o & o11.

every time i sit to post about the person i've met for the day i like to think about what i've learned from the experience of meeting them alongside the actual conversation we had. this got me thinking about the importance of conversations and how collectively the three people i met this weekend all played a role in that lesson.

day oo9: bryan

saturday night i went out again and met a guy named bryan. like most of my conversations with people at bars there's always a lack of something, no not awareness, but something more. a lack of authenticity and compassion. and im not saying i bring that to the table every time i strike up a conversation at a bar. but usually the only things going through my mind while talking to a guy at a bar are "is this guy gonna want my number?" or "where are my friends?". while thinking about all these things i began wondering "why can't every conversation be authentic and compassionate?" we reap what we sow. if i only half-ass conversations about my job and school im gonna get those same conversations in return. but when you actually open up to someone i've seen they give you a lot more in return. and i now see how ive limited myself in those conversations.

day o1o: sylvia

sunday morning i was sitting in church by myself as usual. i sat in my usual spot about 15 minutes early because i have about 15 minutes between serving with the two-year-olds and the next service. i noticed a lady sitting a few seats down from me by herself. now im thinking this is it. i notice she's texting so i decide to wait til she's finished. so then the minutes start to roll by and im thinking "damn that's a long text" but as i watch her text i realize she is typing one letter every two seconds. and as the minutes pass im getting nervous because i dont know if ill have the time to talk to her before the service begins. i almost went over to ask her what she wanted to say and id text it for her. well finally i see her press the send button and immediately i move next to her. i introduce myself and we talk about how she's been coming to the church for about 6 years and has two kids but usually goes to a different service with her husband. when i told her i introduced myself because i wanted to meet new people she told me that it's good because sometimes we just come in and sit in the same spot and leave. and i thought about it...ive been going to the church for about 3 years now and ive been sitting in same spot and i think about the other people who sit around me in their same spots too. and then i thought about how many times i walk into church and listen to the message and leave without even talking to these people who make up the same church i love and go to. every sunday is a new conversation waiting to happen.

day o11: jae

now i'd love to say that i met someone new today but the truth is i didnt...kinda. i was sick all day and stayed home from work. i knew i wasnt going out but i knew i had to meet someone. as horrible as i felt i still worked out and decided to get a protein shake at juice it up. knowing this would be my only interaction with a stranger i walked in ready to meet someone. but as i walked in i realized i had already met the person helping me. it was a friend of mine's girlfriend. but i thought about it and ive never actually talked to her before. i was still committed to the conversation, i introduced myself and learned where she went to school and learned what she was studying. and what surprised me most was her willingness to ask me questions in return. ive seen that usually people just answer the questions i ask or i tell them more about myself, hoping in turn they'd say something. i think before i was afraid of the silence in the conversation, those times when there's nothing to say, but now i see that things are spoken in the silence and it allows for things to come up.

with all this said i have a confession. these past few days ive realized i became more concerned with meeting my one new person everyday than the actual conversation that followed. and i saw that tonight with jae. although i had already "met" her before, i never talked to her and made time to ask her about herself. im seeing that this whole project is allowing me to actually meet people and learn about them. and again i made it about myself and who I would meet instead of thinking about others and what they had to say.

so bare with me through all this as im still learning...and im still human and selfish.

project 365: day oo8.

day oo8: karena & others.

while i was thinking about writing this post i started to realize how i enjoy friday and saturday nights. it seems that i meet the most people then. mainly because i always go out with friends. although most of the time i meet people i dont ever want to talk to again. so im trying to meet people more worth while on the weekends when im out at a bar or somewhere. like my friend nick's girlfriend, karena (soccer shotout ya). well i got to meet and talk to karena for a little while as we all celebrated nick's birthday.

its funny how conversational people and myself can be when our inhibitions are lowered...and i love it! although i wasn't drinking last night haha. i dont know if being buzzed is the key to my success in this project (maybe one day i'll find a project where it will be! just kidding) but i think a lesson learned can be that meeting and talking to new people doesnt have to be so scary and stuffy. and maybe thats what its all about...lowering your inhibitions. not by means of alcohol necessarily but just by not taking yourself so seriously and not being afraid to look a little retarded and vulnerable.

project365: day oo7.

day 007: becca.

so yesterday i was walking to school again and usually around the time i go there are lots of other people walking too. but as usual i got nervous. i kept walking thinking i was going to talk to the guy infront of me. but sure enough NOPE, i walked all the way to class without meeting anyone. i just thought i would meet someone on my way back. well it turns out i had to go to the financial aid office to figure out why i was disqualified this semester (side note: they still don't know why). so after spending some time in the financial aid office and still not knowing why i was disqualified, i started to stress out and i didnt want to talk to anyone at that point. so i started walking back to my car. at this point there is NO ONE out because everyone has made it to school. i start freaking out a little cause i know i have to head straight home to watch my sister for the rest of the day. im at the street light where i normally cross and look behind me and see someone way in the distance walking toward the light. "this is it." as the person approaches i realize she's on the phone so i stand there for a few more mintues. then i see someone on the opposite side of the street in the distance walking toward the opposite crosswalk. i run across the street and wait for her at the crosswalk. as soon as we cross i turn and ask if she'd like to walk with me. she was hesitant at first (like "oookay crazy girl" but that's nothing i haven't heard before). ive learned that most people won't say no to walking and talking for a few minutes.

well i talked to becca for about 10 minutes as we walked to our cars together, mostly about school and graduation. both of us were in our 6th year of college. its encouraging to hear that people are in the same boat as me. sometimes i feel like a retard for taking so long but i know that it was all predetermined and im right where i'm supposed to be!

project 365: day oo6.

day oo6: stacy

so today i went to my favorite adopted sisters' soccer game, Miss Hailey and Miss Hannah Havelind. although i think their family would claim i'm the adopted one. anyway, there i am sitting on the bleachers wondering who i could meet. there's a lady sitting by herself next to me and i feel it on my heart that she's the one (not like "the one" like my soulmate but my one for the day, but you got that). so time keeps passing by and im watching the game and i keep letting the minutes roll on. i start to think to myself "well im going somewhere later so maybe she's not the person." so i keep watching the game. but then i decide "no, she's it." so i wait 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, then after the half...

...then my phone goes off and i get this text from a friend:

"procrastination is like masturbation. at first it feels good, but in the end you're only screwing yourself."

wow! it was like a text message straight from God! (more or less) but man it's what i needed. i turned straight to her and started talking about the game and learned her daughter plays on the team and her son is touring the country and canada playing hockey and some other cool stuff.

as time goes by i see that there is no shortage of people on God's part but only a shortage of courage on mine. those few seconds before i turn to someone to start the conversation i feel as if i wanna throw up and die. but with each word that comes out, fear leaves the body. i see this stage of my project as preparation for the next. with time it will get easier to take those first steps and my courage will become bolder. and im learning i won't die!

project 365: day oo5.

day oo5: corrine

every day i go to school i walk about 15 minutes to get to my car. a lot of other students do too in order to avoid parking fees. its a straight shot to school. along the way dozens of other students pass me by or dawdle behind. well today there was a girl a few steps behind me and i felt as if she and i were walking at a good in-sync pace (you know, not so fast that you look like youre trying to get to the bathroom but not slow enough where you look like youre fighting an invisible person just to take the next step. i guess fast enough to get where youre trying to go.) anyway, i turned around and asked her if she would like to walk to school together.

luckily she said yes and we exchanged names. i walked with corrine and talked to her for about 10 minutes. we talked about school mostly and plans for the future (although neither one of us knows what we wanna do when we "grow up") which i guess is what i learned from my project today.

i can honestly say right now i dont have a clue what i wanna be in the future. the only thing i know for sure is who i wanna be.

someone who can be honest even when the truth is hard to get out.

someone you can call at anytime knowing they'd do whatever it took to help you.

someone who can talk to anyone no matter what the circumstance. (im still learning)

and most importantly someone who just kicks ass at life trying to change the world, put a smile on someone's face and live each day in the glory of God's love.

project 365: day oo4.

day oo4: elaine

have you ever known someone for years but one day get the feeling that youre meeting them for the first time? well thats what happened to me today...

...with my dental hygienist.

so there i am sitting in the chair waiting to have my teeth worked on. and i decide this is it, this will be my person for the day. as elaine prepared the tools i sat there and asked her about her thanksgiving and other things. it became rather difficult when the numbing paste started to kick in and drool started falling down the side of my mouth, but i was committed to the conversation. well when i asked her her name and introduced myself i felt kinda retarded when she said "ya, youve been coming here since you were a little girl."

and again, that's the reason for all of this. because sometimes you never take enough time to know the people who've known you for years. the people you've seen countless times. the people who've seen the inside of your mouth.

project 365: day oo3.

day oo3: maria

so once again i woke faced with the challenge. my favorite time of the week is here. the mornings i get to serve in the two-year-old room at church. i honestly wish i could put into words the joy i feel when i get to see their beautiful faces sunday mornings. through the tantrums and screams God still continues to give me love for them and show me his love in return.

during service i learned my pastor was diagnosed with leukemia. listening to his family speak of his illness and his vision through his sickness made me realize how much his message has touched my life. pastor dave has always spoke of leading an authentic life. its not about the works or the sins, its about building relationships to bring people to know freedom through Christ.

thats where i was at today. i knew this journey would be tough but i have a vision to get me through the pain of transformation. i want to lead the most authentic non-bullshit life i can.

so, my person for the day. i honestly can say i would have never met them if it werent for the help of my best friend Karissa. we were on a mission. at times it felt like this was never gonna happen but prayer and perseverance got us through. we met up at 9pm hoping to meet someone at RA. then its 10pm and it seems the only people out are couples. its 10:30pm and we go to yardhouse. again with the couples. so we decide to go for coffee. unfortunately nothings open. except....7/11. we go to 7/11 to get coffee but the machine seems to be getting worked on and we decide to try am pm. theres a lady working and finally i say screw it and strike up conversation with her. and sure enough...it was hard and awkward. we talked to maria about where she lived and her son and what he wanted to do after high school. pretty much awkward small talk, but at this point ill take it.

but you know what, sometimes you just gotta sit in that awkwardness to get somewhere. i know this will get easier and im learning people will start to open up if you truly care.

right now the thing getting me through this all is faith. faith that im being prepared for something much greater. faith that this journey will have a much bigger outcome than i could have ever imagined. and faith that God will ignite a fire in me that will give me the courage to step out each day knowing his will is being done.

"may God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships so that we may live from deep within our hearts."