Monday, December 5, 2011
project 365: day oo9, o1o & o11.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
project 365: day oo8.
Friday, December 2, 2011
project365: day oo7.
so yesterday i was walking to school again and usually around the time i go there are lots of other people walking too. but as usual i got nervous. i kept walking thinking i was going to talk to the guy infront of me. but sure enough NOPE, i walked all the way to class without meeting anyone. i just thought i would meet someone on my way back. well it turns out i had to go to the financial aid office to figure out why i was disqualified this semester (side note: they still don't know why). so after spending some time in the financial aid office and still not knowing why i was disqualified, i started to stress out and i didnt want to talk to anyone at that point. so i started walking back to my car. at this point there is NO ONE out because everyone has made it to school. i start freaking out a little cause i know i have to head straight home to watch my sister for the rest of the day. im at the street light where i normally cross and look behind me and see someone way in the distance walking toward the light. "this is it." as the person approaches i realize she's on the phone so i stand there for a few more mintues. then i see someone on the opposite side of the street in the distance walking toward the opposite crosswalk. i run across the street and wait for her at the crosswalk. as soon as we cross i turn and ask if she'd like to walk with me. she was hesitant at first (like "oookay crazy girl" but that's nothing i haven't heard before). ive learned that most people won't say no to walking and talking for a few minutes.
well i talked to becca for about 10 minutes as we walked to our cars together, mostly about school and graduation. both of us were in our 6th year of college. its encouraging to hear that people are in the same boat as me. sometimes i feel like a retard for taking so long but i know that it was all predetermined and im right where i'm supposed to be!
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
project 365: day oo6.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
project 365: day oo5.
Monday, November 28, 2011
project 365: day oo4.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
project 365: day oo3.
project 365: day oo2.
Friday, November 25, 2011
project 365: day oo1.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
365 project.
"Nope. No way. Nah-uh. Sorry God. That’s not me."
This is the conversation I had driving today. After realizing a hopefully fleeting idea was actually the voice of God.
One person. Everyday. For one year.
Meet a stranger and have a conversation everyday for 365 days. That seemed like a cool idea…for someone else. As quickly as the idea entered my head, God slapped me across the face with reality. So hard in fact I could only cry out of fear. So there I sat, crying with the task at hand. Saying, “No not me, that was just an idea.” But an idea became a calling that is now a responsibility. But more than a responsibility, an opportunity. A chance to meet real people. A chance to stretch myself and my limits. A chance for others to stretch their limits.
You see at first this was all about me. “God where am I going to meet a new person everyday? Some days I sit inside and eat peanut butter straight from the jar. What if they don’t want to talk to me? What if I don’t know what to say?”
Then I stopped myself and realized my needs were at the center of each question. Or at least I thought I knew what my needs were. But when I put that aside and turned the focus to others, I knew any need of mine would be met through God’s strength and plan for my life.
So. Here I am. Writing this now. Asking for strength. I am taking this opportunity and meeting someone new everyday for the next year. I expect some funny, sketchy, heartbreaking, life changing but nonetheless interesting stories to come from this plan of action. I am committed to meet a new person and have a conversation with them everyday. Now, I’m not sure what that looks like yet and I’m sure it won’t get off to a smooth start but I’ll learn along the way. And I’m committed to writing about each person I meet and our conversation everyday as well.
I’m not gonna lie…I’m scared shitless right now. But I can only take each day as it comes and pray to God I don’t die.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
5 things your boyfriend isn't telling you.
Now we all know we get comfortable when we’ve been dating someone for awhile but there’s no need to completely let yourself go. Yes, I love eating too and you do it twice as much when there’s two of you, but honestly, hit the gym. I know he says he likes you a little thick but there comes a point when it becomes too much work getting the milkshake through the straw. Lose a few el bees and give him something to look at and chances are he’s gonna wanna look good for you too cause a few years from now you don’t want your friday night to consist of editing your audition tape for The Biggest Loser: Couples Edition.
“sweat pants aren’t sexy pants.”
I know you love your PINK collection baggy sweats and Uggs but DO NOT step out of the house with them on or spend every day in them no matter how many two-toned pairs you own. They are for lounging and doing homework only. So if you’re doing any of those things excessively with your boyfriend well….im sorry.
“if I see another Jennifer Aniston or Katherine Heigl movie I am going to shoot myself.”
Ladies. Now I might be a little bias with this one because personally I don’t think Jennifer Aniston and/or Katherine Heigl movies should make it into production, but by some act of God they keep getting made and you girls keep watching them. But your guy does NOT want to see those types of films. The only movies he wants to see that cast women in leading roles (beside Angelina Jolie) he’s already got on his computer. See those movies with your girlfriends and if you really wanna surprise him take him to see the new Jason Statham movie. (ok this one is totally bias)
“I want you to get your hands dirty.”
Take off your hello kitty studded acrylics and toughen up. I know they cost you $50 every two weeks but save that money one week, buy a campsite, go for a hike and get down and dirty (on all levels). I’m not saying you gotta go all butch and spit lugees on each other (which i don’t recommend in any circumstance) but show him you’re adventurous and can handle some dirt under your nails…don’t worry happy nail will always be there waiting for you.
“please shut up.”
Believe me, this probably comes up in his head more often than you think. Now im all for openness and honesty and being there for each other…but when the games on, NO. he doesn’t want to hear about what Tiffany was wearing to work or what James and Lauren did last weekend. That’s what girls’ ears were made for, anatomically speaking they can hold more volume and words than their male counterparts. So bottle that noise up and call up your girlfriend.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
4 things i hate about school.
(cause i couldnt think of 5)
When your professor pronounces “library”, “li-BARY”. Go to the fucking “libary” and check out a dictionary or I will have to go to the Dean and petition to have your illiterate ass fired.
When people wear pajamas. It’s not 5th grade spirit week, so go back in your closet and dress like an adult. And while im on it, its not crazy hair day either…run a brush through that thing.
When people don’t know how to take roll. Your name is Jessica Z. and it has been since the first day of kindergarten. You know you are always called last for roll and your number was always 32. So why the HELL are you answering for Jessica B. two seconds into roll call?! Now everyone is confused on which Jessica is which and all your classmates hate you.
When people ride Razors. Nuff said.
Friday, May 6, 2011
How To Be a Hipster.
-Throw out everything you own, go to the thrift store and buy all new stuff.
-Lose 10 pounds immediately.
-Wear excessive amounts of plaid & mixed patterns. So different.
-You have 20/20 vision? Get glasses that are too big for your face. And remember the thicker the frame the more hipster you are. Kind of like a chef’s hat.
-Cut all your shorts above your knees and all your pants above your ankles.
-Never spend less than $40 for a scarf. Lets be real.
-Always be real. Don’t try. And never smile in photos. Frowns are the new black.
-Only listen to music that no one listens to and claim it as your own. Then once you’ve heard someone else talking about it, immediately disown it.
-Only drink PBR in tall cans.
-Grow a mustache. Even if youre a girl.
-Try art. If youre not good at it, call it art.
-Only buy Tom’s for the cause.
-Know your 80s & 90s pop culture and exclude others who don’t.
-Try veganism. So hot right now.
-Start smoking. Health is not an issue.
-Have the same independent thoughts as your friends.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Don't You Know How to Get Girls?
(Steps #1-3 will require the most effort but dont worry, after these, your efforts will be minimal.)
Step #1. Make the Initial Contact.
You see her from across the room. Go up to her. If youre decent looking she has probably already noticed you and waiting for you to come up to her and buy her a drink (which you might wanna do, you know, just in case youre not that good looking and/or funny *side note: being good looking and/or funny are always good pre-steps). I know at this point the circle of girlfriends she has around her looks like a giant ring of fire surrounded by flesh eating heynas but really theyre most likely just retards who are 2 drinks deep and complaining about their crappy love lives. so just go up and ask her if she'd like a drink and start talking. hopefully things are going well with your conversation and if she isnt a complete heartless loser she'll give you her number and thank you for the drink.
Step #2. Make the Initial Phone Contact.
If she has any respect for herself she wont text you first. So text her the next day to a week later depending on how much she sparked your interest. Now, don't text just a "Hi", it makes you look gay. Text something that requires an answer back but not a question like "Hows your day going?" cause we know you dont care. Base the question on the conversation you had when you first met. Refer to something that is relevant.
Step #3. Ask Her Out.
Ask her to go out and grab a drink. Nothing fancy. NO dinners and NO movies. Dinners are like the fast lane to Boresville. You will go back and forth asking questions about school, work and family. You might as well just ask for her resume. And movies dont give you the chance to talk and most likely she'll want to see some rom-com that stars Jennifer Aniston and then you'll just end up resenting her. Just go out for a drink and keep it light and fun. Make good conversation and again...be funny.
Step #4. COMPLETELY IGNORE HER.
Yeah your date was good but thats not important. What's important is that you stop talking to her. If she texts you, dont text back right away, wait like a few hours or maybe even a day to reply. She'll go crazy for you, trust me. She's probably with a girlfriend going on about your date and how you havent text her back yet and how she's wondering if you didnt get the text and contemplating re-sending you another one, not to mention questioning her self-confidence. By now she has probably lost the respect for herself that held her back from texting you first. If she texts you to hang out again make sure you let her know you'll hang out on YOUR time and by YOUR rules. i mean, youve got stuff to do right? it's NOT about her, its about YOU.
Step #5. Use Social Networking to Your Advantage.
If you are facebook friends with her, posting pictures with other girls is vital to getting her attention. Change your profile picture or post a wall photo with you and some chick that looks like Adriana Lima's second cousin. Again, she is going CRAZY for you right now, i wouldnt doubt it if she's crying to her friends and eating her feelings at this exact moment. Oh man, you've GOT her. And if you can throw in a status about how much you love one of your other girl friends or check in at a bar with 17 other chicks youre GOLDEN. You might as well start having your friends call you Mark Wahlberg because you are THE MAN.
Step #6. Send Mixed Signals.
Oh yeah she's gonna love this. Be super charming and nice and funny and sweet when you go out with her and treat her like a princess when you see her. Then again refer to Step #4 immediately after you drop her off. She's probably on cloud 9 on her Hello Kitty bed spread thinking about how great you are and planning your holidays together. But you know whats up...ya bro.
Step #7. Start Dating Other Girls.
This is the final step. Now that you are an expert in how to get girls repeat these steps and juggle as many girls as you can handle, the sky's the limit. Just remember to follow these simple steps. Its easy and ive told you everything you need to know about getting girls. See we're NOT that complicated.
I know this post is not helpful to girls so I've written the steps you need to take to get guys as well.
Step #1. Be hot.
Good Luck!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
My Most Hated Facebook Posts.
The Weather.
"omg its raining!!!!!! i love it!!!!"
ok i know its fucking raining you dont need to update me via facebook status. and frankly i can give a crap if you love the rain or not. but thank you so much for your insight about the weather Dallas Raines without your facebook update i would have never been able to look outside and see that my entire backyard is flooded.
Your Awesome Boyfriend.
"i have the BEST boyfriend in the BEST city in the BEST world EVER!!!"
ok thats nice. what am i supposed to do with this information? post that shit on his wall, we dont need to know. and if he were the best boyfriend ever he'd make you delete that post faster than he can say "im breaking up with you".
Your Crappy Love Life.
"blah blah blah...taylor swift lyrics...blah blah blah."
oh you poor thing. im sorry that you find comfort and relate to a teenage girl who got dumped by John Mayer & Jake Gyllenhaal (the two hottest & funniest guys on this planet). but you need to stop sharing your depressing sentiments because theyre not helping any other guy on facebook want to date you. you might as well call Taylor Swift our generation's Jennifer Aniston cause there aint no way shes gonna find a husband with all that whining she calls a hit record. so suck it up and move on. cause most likely that guy youre writing about has moved on as well.
Your "Busy" Life.
"ahhhhh!! so much to do today! im so busy! busy busy busy."
c'mon. seriously? we all have lives. just because you are busy it does not make you important. and since you have all sorts of shit to do why the hell are you on facebook? no one cares that youre busy or about the millions of chores and errands you claim to have. learn to manage your time and stop wasting ours.
General, Vague, and Pointless Thoughts.
"i dont know what to do about this, uhhhh"
wtf? well i sure as hell dont know what to do either if you keep posting pointless crap. facebook is NOT an outlet for your unclear thoughts and emotions. so either step up and ask for advise or buy a journal, it'll cost less than your dignity.
In Conclusion:
Facebook posts should be something of value. Believe me, I've written my share of annoying facebook posts and statuses. But take this into account next time you lay your fingers on the keyboard: "Can i think of 3-5 people that will like this status?" Cause if not, everyone is probably wishing they had the "dislike" button option and/or has already hidden you from their news feed.
happy posting!
Monday, February 14, 2011
soo it's valentine's day.
single guys: best day ever. i get to have an extra excuse to go out and drink with my friends, and save my hard earned tip money, while all the single ladies are out drowning their sorrows with vodka redbulls.
single ladies: its all good. i have an excuse to go out and drink with my only two single girlfriends and get hit on by the same creeps that were gonna hit on me this weekend anyway.
non-single guys: fml. i have to spend all my hard earned money on my chick just so she can be seen by people she doesnt even know and will never see again only to try to prove to society she is worth something because she found my dumbass to take her out on valentines day. aaaannnd i probably wont even get laid.
non-single girls: oh. em. gee. really? these flowers? i specifically asked for fuchsia NOT magenta. and babys breath? really Trevor? did you pick these up from stater bros. while you were already running 15 minutes late to pick me up? now everyone at The Cheesecake Factory will have 15 minutes less to see us. dont even think you are getting any tonight. ugh hold my purse. lets go.
now maybe my view on valentines day is a little cynical and if youre in an awesome relationship and valentines day doesnt have to be some big production and you can chill with a six pack and watch Transporter 2 (my v-day date of choice btw) then more power to you. just keep things real and love will find you and all that good stuff they brainwash us with in movies like 57 dresses or whatever.
feel the love. happy valentines day all!