project 365: day oo9, o1o & o11.

every time i sit to post about the person i've met for the day i like to think about what i've learned from the experience of meeting them alongside the actual conversation we had. this got me thinking about the importance of conversations and how collectively the three people i met this weekend all played a role in that lesson.

day oo9: bryan

saturday night i went out again and met a guy named bryan. like most of my conversations with people at bars there's always a lack of something, no not awareness, but something more. a lack of authenticity and compassion. and im not saying i bring that to the table every time i strike up a conversation at a bar. but usually the only things going through my mind while talking to a guy at a bar are "is this guy gonna want my number?" or "where are my friends?". while thinking about all these things i began wondering "why can't every conversation be authentic and compassionate?" we reap what we sow. if i only half-ass conversations about my job and school im gonna get those same conversations in return. but when you actually open up to someone i've seen they give you a lot more in return. and i now see how ive limited myself in those conversations.

day o1o: sylvia

sunday morning i was sitting in church by myself as usual. i sat in my usual spot about 15 minutes early because i have about 15 minutes between serving with the two-year-olds and the next service. i noticed a lady sitting a few seats down from me by herself. now im thinking this is it. i notice she's texting so i decide to wait til she's finished. so then the minutes start to roll by and im thinking "damn that's a long text" but as i watch her text i realize she is typing one letter every two seconds. and as the minutes pass im getting nervous because i dont know if ill have the time to talk to her before the service begins. i almost went over to ask her what she wanted to say and id text it for her. well finally i see her press the send button and immediately i move next to her. i introduce myself and we talk about how she's been coming to the church for about 6 years and has two kids but usually goes to a different service with her husband. when i told her i introduced myself because i wanted to meet new people she told me that it's good because sometimes we just come in and sit in the same spot and leave. and i thought about it...ive been going to the church for about 3 years now and ive been sitting in same spot and i think about the other people who sit around me in their same spots too. and then i thought about how many times i walk into church and listen to the message and leave without even talking to these people who make up the same church i love and go to. every sunday is a new conversation waiting to happen.

day o11: jae

now i'd love to say that i met someone new today but the truth is i didnt...kinda. i was sick all day and stayed home from work. i knew i wasnt going out but i knew i had to meet someone. as horrible as i felt i still worked out and decided to get a protein shake at juice it up. knowing this would be my only interaction with a stranger i walked in ready to meet someone. but as i walked in i realized i had already met the person helping me. it was a friend of mine's girlfriend. but i thought about it and ive never actually talked to her before. i was still committed to the conversation, i introduced myself and learned where she went to school and learned what she was studying. and what surprised me most was her willingness to ask me questions in return. ive seen that usually people just answer the questions i ask or i tell them more about myself, hoping in turn they'd say something. i think before i was afraid of the silence in the conversation, those times when there's nothing to say, but now i see that things are spoken in the silence and it allows for things to come up.

with all this said i have a confession. these past few days ive realized i became more concerned with meeting my one new person everyday than the actual conversation that followed. and i saw that tonight with jae. although i had already "met" her before, i never talked to her and made time to ask her about herself. im seeing that this whole project is allowing me to actually meet people and learn about them. and again i made it about myself and who I would meet instead of thinking about others and what they had to say.

so bare with me through all this as im still learning...and im still human and selfish.

project 365: day oo8.

day oo8: karena & others.

while i was thinking about writing this post i started to realize how i enjoy friday and saturday nights. it seems that i meet the most people then. mainly because i always go out with friends. although most of the time i meet people i dont ever want to talk to again. so im trying to meet people more worth while on the weekends when im out at a bar or somewhere. like my friend nick's girlfriend, karena (soccer shotout ya). well i got to meet and talk to karena for a little while as we all celebrated nick's birthday.

its funny how conversational people and myself can be when our inhibitions are lowered...and i love it! although i wasn't drinking last night haha. i dont know if being buzzed is the key to my success in this project (maybe one day i'll find a project where it will be! just kidding) but i think a lesson learned can be that meeting and talking to new people doesnt have to be so scary and stuffy. and maybe thats what its all about...lowering your inhibitions. not by means of alcohol necessarily but just by not taking yourself so seriously and not being afraid to look a little retarded and vulnerable.

project365: day oo7.

day 007: becca.

so yesterday i was walking to school again and usually around the time i go there are lots of other people walking too. but as usual i got nervous. i kept walking thinking i was going to talk to the guy infront of me. but sure enough NOPE, i walked all the way to class without meeting anyone. i just thought i would meet someone on my way back. well it turns out i had to go to the financial aid office to figure out why i was disqualified this semester (side note: they still don't know why). so after spending some time in the financial aid office and still not knowing why i was disqualified, i started to stress out and i didnt want to talk to anyone at that point. so i started walking back to my car. at this point there is NO ONE out because everyone has made it to school. i start freaking out a little cause i know i have to head straight home to watch my sister for the rest of the day. im at the street light where i normally cross and look behind me and see someone way in the distance walking toward the light. "this is it." as the person approaches i realize she's on the phone so i stand there for a few more mintues. then i see someone on the opposite side of the street in the distance walking toward the opposite crosswalk. i run across the street and wait for her at the crosswalk. as soon as we cross i turn and ask if she'd like to walk with me. she was hesitant at first (like "oookay crazy girl" but that's nothing i haven't heard before). ive learned that most people won't say no to walking and talking for a few minutes.

well i talked to becca for about 10 minutes as we walked to our cars together, mostly about school and graduation. both of us were in our 6th year of college. its encouraging to hear that people are in the same boat as me. sometimes i feel like a retard for taking so long but i know that it was all predetermined and im right where i'm supposed to be!

project 365: day oo6.

day oo6: stacy

so today i went to my favorite adopted sisters' soccer game, Miss Hailey and Miss Hannah Havelind. although i think their family would claim i'm the adopted one. anyway, there i am sitting on the bleachers wondering who i could meet. there's a lady sitting by herself next to me and i feel it on my heart that she's the one (not like "the one" like my soulmate but my one for the day, but you got that). so time keeps passing by and im watching the game and i keep letting the minutes roll on. i start to think to myself "well im going somewhere later so maybe she's not the person." so i keep watching the game. but then i decide "no, she's it." so i wait 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, then after the half...

...then my phone goes off and i get this text from a friend:

"procrastination is like masturbation. at first it feels good, but in the end you're only screwing yourself."

wow! it was like a text message straight from God! (more or less) but man it's what i needed. i turned straight to her and started talking about the game and learned her daughter plays on the team and her son is touring the country and canada playing hockey and some other cool stuff.

as time goes by i see that there is no shortage of people on God's part but only a shortage of courage on mine. those few seconds before i turn to someone to start the conversation i feel as if i wanna throw up and die. but with each word that comes out, fear leaves the body. i see this stage of my project as preparation for the next. with time it will get easier to take those first steps and my courage will become bolder. and im learning i won't die!

project 365: day oo5.

day oo5: corrine

every day i go to school i walk about 15 minutes to get to my car. a lot of other students do too in order to avoid parking fees. its a straight shot to school. along the way dozens of other students pass me by or dawdle behind. well today there was a girl a few steps behind me and i felt as if she and i were walking at a good in-sync pace (you know, not so fast that you look like youre trying to get to the bathroom but not slow enough where you look like youre fighting an invisible person just to take the next step. i guess fast enough to get where youre trying to go.) anyway, i turned around and asked her if she would like to walk to school together.

luckily she said yes and we exchanged names. i walked with corrine and talked to her for about 10 minutes. we talked about school mostly and plans for the future (although neither one of us knows what we wanna do when we "grow up") which i guess is what i learned from my project today.

i can honestly say right now i dont have a clue what i wanna be in the future. the only thing i know for sure is who i wanna be.

someone who can be honest even when the truth is hard to get out.

someone you can call at anytime knowing they'd do whatever it took to help you.

someone who can talk to anyone no matter what the circumstance. (im still learning)

and most importantly someone who just kicks ass at life trying to change the world, put a smile on someone's face and live each day in the glory of God's love.

project 365: day oo4.

day oo4: elaine

have you ever known someone for years but one day get the feeling that youre meeting them for the first time? well thats what happened to me today...

...with my dental hygienist.

so there i am sitting in the chair waiting to have my teeth worked on. and i decide this is it, this will be my person for the day. as elaine prepared the tools i sat there and asked her about her thanksgiving and other things. it became rather difficult when the numbing paste started to kick in and drool started falling down the side of my mouth, but i was committed to the conversation. well when i asked her her name and introduced myself i felt kinda retarded when she said "ya, youve been coming here since you were a little girl."

and again, that's the reason for all of this. because sometimes you never take enough time to know the people who've known you for years. the people you've seen countless times. the people who've seen the inside of your mouth.

project 365: day oo3.

day oo3: maria

so once again i woke faced with the challenge. my favorite time of the week is here. the mornings i get to serve in the two-year-old room at church. i honestly wish i could put into words the joy i feel when i get to see their beautiful faces sunday mornings. through the tantrums and screams God still continues to give me love for them and show me his love in return.

during service i learned my pastor was diagnosed with leukemia. listening to his family speak of his illness and his vision through his sickness made me realize how much his message has touched my life. pastor dave has always spoke of leading an authentic life. its not about the works or the sins, its about building relationships to bring people to know freedom through Christ.

thats where i was at today. i knew this journey would be tough but i have a vision to get me through the pain of transformation. i want to lead the most authentic non-bullshit life i can.

so, my person for the day. i honestly can say i would have never met them if it werent for the help of my best friend Karissa. we were on a mission. at times it felt like this was never gonna happen but prayer and perseverance got us through. we met up at 9pm hoping to meet someone at RA. then its 10pm and it seems the only people out are couples. its 10:30pm and we go to yardhouse. again with the couples. so we decide to go for coffee. unfortunately nothings open. except....7/11. we go to 7/11 to get coffee but the machine seems to be getting worked on and we decide to try am pm. theres a lady working and finally i say screw it and strike up conversation with her. and sure enough...it was hard and awkward. we talked to maria about where she lived and her son and what he wanted to do after high school. pretty much awkward small talk, but at this point ill take it.

but you know what, sometimes you just gotta sit in that awkwardness to get somewhere. i know this will get easier and im learning people will start to open up if you truly care.

right now the thing getting me through this all is faith. faith that im being prepared for something much greater. faith that this journey will have a much bigger outcome than i could have ever imagined. and faith that God will ignite a fire in me that will give me the courage to step out each day knowing his will is being done.

"may God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships so that we may live from deep within our hearts."

project 365: day oo2.

oo2: connor.

so today i woke up at 9 am wondering how i was going to meet someone new. then i went back to sleep. i woke up at 12 pm had the same thought...then went back to sleep. i woke up at 3 pm had the same thought, yep....and took a shower. i sat in the house all day thinking about (and partially avoiding) my commitment. saturdays are gonna be tough. but as saturday nights usually go i went out with some friends. i think i met like five new people today. but one in particular that i got to have a conversation with (since thats what the plan is). i met a guy named connor who grew up in my same city and even went to the same high school.

it got me thinking about how people can grow up in the same house their whole life and not know their neighbor down the street...or even right next door. with this i kind of realized how there is now no way i could not possibly meet a new person everyday. im not sure how to approach my neighbors without sounding like a door-to-door salesperson (or crazy person) but im sure it'll come to that one day. and what an awkward day it will be!

project 365: day oo1.

oo1: mary lou.

So today i woke up thinking "oh great...here we go." all i had planned today was christmas decorating with my family. and i thought again "where am i going to meet a new person?"

well i got up threw on some sweats and went out the house makeup-free thinking i would find someone later tonight. well when i get in my car i realize the gas light's on (not that thats unusual but its been like that for three days). so i go to the gas station and as im pumping gas i see an older lady with another woman walking around looking for bottles in the trash cans. i remember i had a few bottles in my car and i think "ok maybe this is my chance" so i grab the bottles and walk up to the lady and hand them to her. she says thank you and i say have a nice day.

that was a conversation right?

thats what i tried to tell God, thinking i could convince him that i had met my person for the day. well knowing that wasn't good enough, i look in my trunk and find another bottle and an extra bag. so i walk up to the lady again and i hand her the bag and bottle. and ill tell you...that lady was so thankful for the extra bag and bottle she started telling me how she lived by herself and had three children and that the girl with her was her disabled daughter who she has to drive to a care facility cause shes 74 and cant take care of her on her own and how her other children didnt even wish her a happy thanksgiving and how shes collecting bottles to pay to fix her car.

i stood there just listening to her story and let her tell me anything and everything she wanted to. and im realizing how much the hand of God was working in that moment. i asked for her name and she said Mary Lou. as i stuck out my hand to introduce myself she grabbed me and pulled me in for a hug and kiss on the cheek. this lady who i talked to for maybe 3 minutes filled me with so much gratefulness and love. she was so thankful for me giving her 3 bottles and a plastic bag and here i am thinking just how thankful i was to have met her.

this morning i woke up thinking "shit, i posted that stupid blog last night telling people about this project...maybe no one read it." but God never ceases to show me he's present in my life and can provide strength beyond measure.

365 project.

"Nope. No way. Nah-uh. Sorry God. That’s not me."

This is the conversation I had driving today. After realizing a hopefully fleeting idea was actually the voice of God.

One person. Everyday. For one year.

Meet a stranger and have a conversation everyday for 365 days. That seemed like a cool idea…for someone else. As quickly as the idea entered my head, God slapped me across the face with reality. So hard in fact I could only cry out of fear. So there I sat, crying with the task at hand. Saying, “No not me, that was just an idea.” But an idea became a calling that is now a responsibility. But more than a responsibility, an opportunity. A chance to meet real people. A chance to stretch myself and my limits. A chance for others to stretch their limits.

You see at first this was all about me. “God where am I going to meet a new person everyday? Some days I sit inside and eat peanut butter straight from the jar. What if they don’t want to talk to me? What if I don’t know what to say?”

Then I stopped myself and realized my needs were at the center of each question. Or at least I thought I knew what my needs were. But when I put that aside and turned the focus to others, I knew any need of mine would be met through God’s strength and plan for my life.

So. Here I am. Writing this now. Asking for strength. I am taking this opportunity and meeting someone new everyday for the next year. I expect some funny, sketchy, heartbreaking, life changing but nonetheless interesting stories to come from this plan of action. I am committed to meet a new person and have a conversation with them everyday. Now, I’m not sure what that looks like yet and I’m sure it won’t get off to a smooth start but I’ll learn along the way. And I’m committed to writing about each person I meet and our conversation everyday as well.

I’m not gonna lie…I’m scared shitless right now. But I can only take each day as it comes and pray to God I don’t die.

-Ericka Ashley

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

new song.

uhhh...i wrote this? ya

enjoy!

5 things your boyfriend isn't telling you.

“You’ve gained 15 pounds since we started dating.”
Now we all know we get comfortable when we’ve been dating someone for awhile but there’s no need to completely let yourself go. Yes, I love eating too and you do it twice as much when there’s two of you, but honestly, hit the gym. I know he says he likes you a little thick but there comes a point when it becomes too much work getting the milkshake through the straw. Lose a few el bees and give him something to look at and chances are he’s gonna wanna look good for you too cause a few years from now you don’t want your friday night to consist of editing your audition tape for The Biggest Loser: Couples Edition.

“sweat pants aren’t sexy pants.”
I know you love your PINK collection baggy sweats and Uggs but DO NOT step out of the house with them on or spend every day in them no matter how many two-toned pairs you own. They are for lounging and doing homework only. So if you’re doing any of those things excessively with your boyfriend well….im sorry.

“if I see another Jennifer Aniston or Katherine Heigl movie I am going to shoot myself.”
Ladies. Now I might be a little bias with this one because personally I don’t think Jennifer Aniston and/or Katherine Heigl movies should make it into production, but by some act of God they keep getting made and you girls keep watching them. But your guy does NOT want to see those types of films. The only movies he wants to see that cast women in leading roles (beside Angelina Jolie) he’s already got on his computer. See those movies with your girlfriends and if you really wanna surprise him take him to see the new Jason Statham movie. (ok this one is totally bias)

“I want you to get your hands dirty.”
Take off your hello kitty studded acrylics and toughen up. I know they cost you $50 every two weeks but save that money one week, buy a campsite, go for a hike and get down and dirty (on all levels). I’m not saying you gotta go all butch and spit lugees on each other (which i don’t recommend in any circumstance) but show him you’re adventurous and can handle some dirt under your nails…don’t worry happy nail will always be there waiting for you.

“please shut up.”
Believe me, this probably comes up in his head more often than you think. Now im all for openness and honesty and being there for each other…but when the games on, NO. he doesn’t want to hear about what Tiffany was wearing to work or what James and Lauren did last weekend. That’s what girls’ ears were made for, anatomically speaking they can hold more volume and words than their male counterparts. So bottle that noise up and call up your girlfriend.

4 things i hate about school.

(cause i couldnt think of 5)

When your professor pronounces “library”, “li-BARY”. Go to the fucking “libary” and check out a dictionary or I will have to go to the Dean and petition to have your illiterate ass fired.

When people wear pajamas. It’s not 5^th grade spirit week, so go back in your closet and dress like an adult. And while im on it, its not crazy hair day either…run a brush through that thing.

When people don’t know how to take roll. Your name is Jessica Z. and it has been since the first day of kindergarten. You know you are always called last for roll and your number was always 32. So why the HELL are you answering for Jessica B. two seconds into roll call?! Now everyone is confused on which Jessica is which and all your classmates hate you.

When people ride Razors. Nuff said.

How To Be a Hipster.

So you wanna be a hipster? Well here are some start-up tips that should have you being effortlessly cool in no time.

-Throw out everything you own, go to the thrift store and buy all new stuff.

-Lose 10 pounds immediately.

-Wear excessive amounts of plaid & mixed patterns. So different.

-You have 20/20 vision? Get glasses that are too big for your face. And remember the thicker the frame the more hipster you are. Kind of like a chef’s hat.

-Cut all your shorts above your knees and all your pants above your ankles.

-Never spend less than $40 for a scarf. Lets be real.

-Always be real. Don’t try. And never smile in photos. Frowns are the new black.

-Only listen to music that no one listens to and claim it as your own. Then once you’ve heard someone else talking about it, immediately disown it.

-Only drink PBR in tall cans.

-Grow a mustache. Even if youre a girl.

-Try art. If youre not good at it, call it art.

-Only buy Tom’s for the cause.

-Know your 80s & 90s pop culture and exclude others who don’t.

-Try veganism. So hot right now.

-Start smoking. Health is not an issue.

-Have the same independent thoughts as your friends.

Don't You Know How to Get Girls?

okay. i'm writing this blog to help all my bros out there. i've seen you try to get girls or have heard you talking about how complicated we are. but honestly we're not that complicated. so ive decided to break down into some easy steps just how to not only get, but keep, a girl's interest and attention.

(Steps #1-3 will require the most effort but dont worry, after these, your efforts will be minimal.)

Step #1. Make the Initial Contact.
You see her from across the room. Go up to her. If youre decent looking she has probably already noticed you and waiting for you to come up to her and buy her a drink (which you might wanna do, you know, just in case youre not that good looking and/or funny *side note: being good looking and/or funny are always good pre-steps). I know at this point the circle of girlfriends she has around her looks like a giant ring of fire surrounded by flesh eating heynas but really theyre most likely just retards who are 2 drinks deep and complaining about their crappy love lives. so just go up and ask her if she'd like a drink and start talking. hopefully things are going well with your conversation and if she isnt a complete heartless loser she'll give you her number and thank you for the drink.

Step #2. Make the Initial Phone Contact.
If she has any respect for herself she wont text you first. So text her the next day to a week later depending on how much she sparked your interest. Now, don't text just a "Hi", it makes you look gay. Text something that requires an answer back but not a question like "Hows your day going?" cause we know you dont care. Base the question on the conversation you had when you first met. Refer to something that is relevant.

Step #3. Ask Her Out.
Ask her to go out and grab a drink. Nothing fancy. NO dinners and NO movies. Dinners are like the fast lane to Boresville. You will go back and forth asking questions about school, work and family. You might as well just ask for her resume. And movies dont give you the chance to talk and most likely she'll want to see some rom-com that stars Jennifer Aniston and then you'll just end up resenting her. Just go out for a drink and keep it light and fun. Make good conversation and again...be funny.

Step #4. COMPLETELY IGNORE HER.
Yeah your date was good but thats not important. What's important is that you stop talking to her. If she texts you, dont text back right away, wait like a few hours or maybe even a day to reply. She'll go crazy for you, trust me. She's probably with a girlfriend going on about your date and how you havent text her back yet and how she's wondering if you didnt get the text and contemplating re-sending you another one, not to mention questioning her self-confidence. By now she has probably lost the respect for herself that held her back from texting you first. If she texts you to hang out again make sure you let her know you'll hang out on YOUR time and by YOUR rules. i mean, youve got stuff to do right? it's NOT about her, its about YOU.

Step #5. Use Social Networking to Your Advantage.
If you are facebook friends with her, posting pictures with other girls is vital to getting her attention. Change your profile picture or post a wall photo with you and some chick that looks like Adriana Lima's second cousin. Again, she is going CRAZY for you right now, i wouldnt doubt it if she's crying to her friends and eating her feelings at this exact moment. Oh man, you've GOT her. And if you can throw in a status about how much you love one of your other girl friends or check in at a bar with 17 other chicks youre GOLDEN. You might as well start having your friends call you Mark Wahlberg because you are THE MAN.

Step #6. Send Mixed Signals.
Oh yeah she's gonna love this. Be super charming and nice and funny and sweet when you go out with her and treat her like a princess when you see her. Then again refer to Step #4 immediately after you drop her off. She's probably on cloud 9 on her Hello Kitty bed spread thinking about how great you are and planning your holidays together. But you know whats up...ya bro.

Step #7. Start Dating Other Girls.
This is the final step. Now that you are an expert in how to get girls repeat these steps and juggle as many girls as you can handle, the sky's the limit. Just remember to follow these simple steps. Its easy and ive told you everything you need to know about getting girls. See we're NOT that complicated.


I know this post is not helpful to girls so I've written the steps you need to take to get guys as well.

Step #1. Be hot.

Good Luck!

My Most Hated Facebook Posts.

ok i recently read an article online about the most annoying facebook status updates and i was inspired to address the ones i found most annoying.

The Weather.
"omg its raining!!!!!! i love it!!!!"
ok i know its fucking raining you dont need to update me via facebook status. and frankly i can give a crap if you love the rain or not. but thank you so much for your insight about the weather Dallas Raines without your facebook update i would have never been able to look outside and see that my entire backyard is flooded.

Your Awesome Boyfriend.
"i have the BEST boyfriend in the BEST city in the BEST world EVER!!!"
ok thats nice. what am i supposed to do with this information? post that shit on his wall, we dont need to know. and if he were the best boyfriend ever he'd make you delete that post faster than he can say "im breaking up with you".

Your Crappy Love Life.
"blah blah blah...taylor swift lyrics...blah blah blah."
oh you poor thing. im sorry that you find comfort and relate to a teenage girl who got dumped by John Mayer & Jake Gyllenhaal (the two hottest & funniest guys on this planet). but you need to stop sharing your depressing sentiments because theyre not helping any other guy on facebook want to date you. you might as well call Taylor Swift our generation's Jennifer Aniston cause there aint no way shes gonna find a husband with all that whining she calls a hit record. so suck it up and move on. cause most likely that guy youre writing about has moved on as well.

Your "Busy" Life.
"ahhhhh!! so much to do today! im so busy! busy busy busy."
c'mon. seriously? we all have lives. just because you are busy it does not make you important. and since you have all sorts of shit to do why the hell are you on facebook? no one cares that youre busy or about the millions of chores and errands you claim to have. learn to manage your time and stop wasting ours.

General, Vague, and Pointless Thoughts.
"i dont know what to do about this, uhhhh"
wtf? well i sure as hell dont know what to do either if you keep posting pointless crap. facebook is NOT an outlet for your unclear thoughts and emotions. so either step up and ask for advise or buy a journal, it'll cost less than your dignity.

In Conclusion:
Facebook posts should be something of value. Believe me, I've written my share of annoying facebook posts and statuses. But take this into account next time you lay your fingers on the keyboard: "Can i think of 3-5 people that will like this status?" Cause if not, everyone is probably wishing they had the "dislike" button option and/or has already hidden you from their news feed.

happy posting!

soo it's valentine's day.

ok. its valentines day. now im pro-love and all but im anti-valentines day. if anything i think valentines day is only fun for singles. we get to drink and go out while suckers are out there dropping bills on broads that probably dont deserve it and whined their way into a fancy dinner. and for us single ladies, it is like the unofficial "Lets get creeped on by guys who are afraid of commitment and/or are over the age of 45 and work construction" day. i mean what chick is NOT down for that. sign me up. and unless youre either completely single or fully committed its always awkward if you just start talking to someone before valentines day. its like "oh crap, am i gonna have to spend money i dont have on this chick i hooked up with and started talking to 2 weeks ago?" or "oh, i wonder if he'll ask me to do anything for valentine's day? i mean we have kissed and he texts me like 3.5 times a week....mhhmm." (the .5 being the 2 in the morning drunk booty call, cause those are never worth a lot.) so. heres my valentines day break down by gender and relationship status.

single guys: best day ever. i get to have an extra excuse to go out and drink with my friends, and save my hard earned tip money, while all the single ladies are out drowning their sorrows with vodka redbulls.

single ladies: its all good. i have an excuse to go out and drink with my only two single girlfriends and get hit on by the same creeps that were gonna hit on me this weekend anyway.

non-single guys: fml. i have to spend all my hard earned money on my chick just so she can be seen by people she doesnt even know and will never see again only to try to prove to society she is worth something because she found my dumbass to take her out on valentines day. aaaannnd i probably wont even get laid.

non-single girls: oh. em. gee. really? these flowers? i specifically asked for fuchsia NOT magenta. and babys breath? really Trevor? did you pick these up from stater bros. while you were already running 15 minutes late to pick me up? now everyone at The Cheesecake Factory will have 15 minutes less to see us. dont even think you are getting any tonight. ugh hold my purse. lets go.

now maybe my view on valentines day is a little cynical and if youre in an awesome relationship and valentines day doesnt have to be some big production and you can chill with a six pack and watch Transporter 2 (my v-day date of choice btw) then more power to you. just keep things real and love will find you and all that good stuff they brainwash us with in movies like 57 dresses or whatever.

feel the love. happy valentines day all!